He sparked something in me. He was so… charismatic. There was so much energy behind his words. I felt like I was a dormant furnace being clicked back to life. Though he was a perfect stranger, I felt so…familiar with him. He intrigued me.
‘Hey, instead of giving beggars money, why not give out those gift-card things from Coles? Then they can’t buy stupid shit with it.’ He drew a pattern with chocolate syrup on the steaming hot chocolate for table 12.
‘Hmm…sure…but who would make the effort to pre-buy these cards just in case they bump into a bum?’ I placed a teaspoon onto the saucer.
He scratched his beard, ‘good point.’
I slid the tray off the bench and balanced it expertly over my shoulder. ‘You know what we should really do: ask if they take EFTPOS. That way, you don’t feel bad because at least you’ve offered something.’
‘Nah, they’ll just drop their daks and tell you to swipe.’
I felt drawn to him. It was strange. He wasn’t even my type. Tall, metro and hairy. Throughout the busy day I found myself making beelines back to him at the coffee bar.
‘So, what’s up with your broken heart?’ He dropped the jug of silked milk against the bench to release the trapped bubbles sending white specks on to his eyebrow. I reached out to wipe it off. Wow, his lashes are so thick.
‘Gee, personal, much?’ He waited. ‘Hang on, I didn’t say anything about my break up.’
‘So, it’s true?’
‘How did you know?’
‘I can tell.’
I sniffed, quietly impressed. ‘Don’t know what that was. He was just someone to fill the void.’ Someone who uncannily resembled my previous boyfriend of three and a half years. A bloody waste of time. Fool me twice…
My darkened expression must have prompted him to change the subject. ‘Have you driven anywhere lately?’ He swirled shine into the stretched milk.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Have you driven anywhere exciting in that new car your parents bought for you.’
‘What the hell kind of presumption is that?’ He poured a perfect rosetta for the weak latte for table 20.
‘Is it not true? All Asian girls have that kind of stuff…everything paved out for them. Nice and easy.’
‘Well, you’re wrong. My parents bought me a second-hand Corolla last year.’
He smirked. ‘Niiiiice and easy.’ He winked and dinged the bell. Coffee up.
What was his story? He was boldly intruding into the personal side of me and we’d only just met! Already he had hit three unknown truths about me effortlessly.
I passed behind him to get to the chocolate cabinet.
‘You’d think after being in one place for 3 months you’d have more friends…’
I wrinkled my nose. ‘I’ve been here for 9 months and have plenty of friends.’ Sort of.
‘I was talking in second-person.’
‘Oh…what do you mean then?’ I slipped on a brown cashmere glove for hand-crafted chocolates.
‘I meant here in Melbourne for 3 months. I can’t call too many people friends. Acquaintances…work mates… yes. Friends? No… not many at home in Queensland either.’
‘Maybe it’s because you keep assuming things about people.’ I retorted.
I felt two strong hands grip my shoulders. Knight started shaking me back and forth. ‘I feel so restless! I just don’t want to settle!’ Why was he telling me these things? Why does he make so much sense to me? This stranger was prodding and stoking the coals within me. He was making me ask myself questions that I hadn’t dared to over the last 9 months: what am I doing? Why haven’t I done anything I want? Do I want to settle? Why not run away? What have I got to lose?
I was homebound in tears. I didn’t notice until the lady next to me passed me a tissue. No matter where I was coming home from, I’d cry my way back. I detested the elasticized leash strapped around my neck, always yanking me back home where all the expectations lay. The train passed over a bridge and I watched the city skyline shrink as we rolled on. Melbourne was the embodiment of beauty, history, culture, fashion, gourmet foods and opportunities at every corner; the fundamental elements of desirable living. But to me, it was a fucking snow dome. And there I was at the edge of the city with my face pressed up against the glass.
I finally reached my station, Sunshine, notorious for its gang fights, smashed car windows, and toothless drug addicts. Usually by the time I reached my car I’d be cried out, but not today. Something was different. I flicked on the windscreen wiper. I turned them off. Stupid. What have I got to bloody cry about? I’ve got a good life. I’m going home to a comfortable house. I have a stable, loving family; my parents have always guided me along the right path and I’m a good person because of it. I have a teaching career on the way, should I choose to embark it. It never takes me too long to find a boy interested in me. An emotional lump started to punch its way up my throat. Things have always come quite easily for me. Pretty smooth sailing. My fingers gripped the steering wheel as I fought to keep the car steady. There are plenty of things to achieve in my life. I’ve got be patient. All that fun stuff can wait. I’ve got to settle and establish myself first. The fire in my stomach blazed. I finally reached home and burst through the door.
‘I’M NOT HAPPY!’
